The three independents at the center of the polarising 2010 Australian election have finally begun to show their hand. Instead of getting on with the job of deciding which of the two parties they would prefer to work with to form a stable government, they seem to have decided amongst themselves that their true task is an immediate reform of the Australian political system. Their list of demands on its own is cringeworthy for anyone with a few brain cells to rub together. If taken and implemented at face value, then these three loons would essentially be running the country, while whomever the unfortunate “prime minister” was being reduced to some sort of dancing puppet on a string. Such is the desperation of Gillard that it seems that she would be ready and willing to attach the string to her own shoulders. At least Abbott has some sort of pride, wisely refusing to ever counternance a situation where the three amigos would be privvy to sensitive defense information even before the prime minister got their eyes on it.
One smells the unimstakeable reek of Bob Katter behind this document of fools. Katter is a man whose stupidity is such that he seems to be the driving reason for why SETI has been spending so much time and money searching for intelligent life in other universes. Calling Australia’s Westminster system “primitive”, he opinioned that it needed to become a multi-party parliament, like say Italy. This is like telling the French that they need to start cooking like the English. His almost equally stupid independent partner, Tony Windsor, reckons that Australia is one of the “worst examples” of the Westminster system. What, worse than Bangladesh, India, Iraq, Malaysia, Pakistan, Papua New Guinea and Tuvalu? Gee, we must really be shit then. Finally we have Rob Oakeshott, the last in the trio, assuring us that the three of them “act for good not evil.” What a relief that is. I think I’ll go to bed now, happy and secure that these clowns hope to be running the country tomorrow.
The most laughable thing about all of this is their insistance that any government formed with their ill thought out demands has to agree to guarantee that they will see out a full three year term, when on the face of it they would probably be lucky to last three weeks. At a deeper level, this entire series of events of having the Australian political system reduced to a garage sale is largely the fault of the main political parties themselves. Apart from the fact that they both seem to be equally shit, there has been a creeping shift over the last decade to the point where both parties seem to have met in the political centre. About the only way to tell them apart is to have some politician with a giant cowboy hat on his head. Now if only he could pick a side.